Last night, I made my way to the gym. My sluggish body wasn’t feeling it, but I grabbed my gear and walked out the door anyway. The first mile sucked. I always hate the first mile. You’re finding your stride and getting all the kinks and cobwebs out of your legs. Boo.
By mile three, I was feeling better. I kept glancing over at the weight equipment and noticing the area was completely empty. I’m not a big fan of using the weight equipment when there’s a bunch of people around. I’m a wuss. I know. My little apartment gym receives the likes of your typical gym buff: big, meaty dude with a stern face and a protein shake. Those dudes freak me out.
So, as I finished my third mile, I made the decision to do some weight training when I finished. As I began closing in on those three miles, I noticed three boys around the ages of 11-14. They were loitering by the pool in front of the gym. I didn’t think much of it until I heard the gym door open and their hormonal bodies walked in. UGH.
They made their way over to the weight equipment and began loitering once again. Why do boys do this? Is it because their home, where their parents provide them with everything, isn’t good enough? Or is it because the multitude of electronics and video games isn’t enough? I’m sure it’s a mix. The loitering makes me nervous. It’s like they’re plotting a massive attack on an unsuspecting gym full of innocent bystanders.
This is Joseph Gordon-Levitt. He has no significance to this post, but his smoldering, nerdy appearance makes me happy.
I made the decision to not weight train and instead walk on the treadmill for another half mile. Yes, I’m a big wuss. We’ve already established that. When I was their age, I had a schoolgirl crush on one boy who, I believed, would never loiter. I wouldn’t know because I dreamed of our wedding from afar. I think the entire time him and I went to school together, I mumbled maybe four words to him.
The tween ages for boys is a crucial time. It’s where their character is truly tested. It’s where a true man begins to form or a complete poophead of a man rears it’s ugly head. Yes, I try to refrain from cursing on this ole blog. I believe this time is precious for both girls and boys. I personally found it to be an awkward time. Mother nature decided to give me boobs and I was unwillingly forced to strap those babies into my very first bra. One afternoon, My mom caught me coming home from school with my bra in my backpack instead of on my chest. Those things can be uncomfortable. Anyway, boys scared me at this time and I don’t think I ever got over my fear.
A lot of it had to do with the lack of conversations I had with boys. I was the shy girl in band. My favorite moments during school occurred when my crush and I made eye contact several times a day. I wonder if he ever liked me. Maybe that would have lessened my fear of that influential age group. Maybe if we had actually talked, I wouldn’t have been so shy. I’ll never know.
For now, I’ll just do without the weight training. My muscles will thank me for the rest, but my mind will yearn for an explanation for my irrational fear. For now, I’ll let that irrational fear continue to fester.