A Wedding Anniversary

Today marks my mom and step-dads 20th wedding anniversary.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

{1} If your partner calls dibs on the leftovers, don’t touch them!

{2.} Don’t assume the dishes are in the sink for aesthetics.

{3.} Guarantee weight gain from at least one of you within the first five years together. The “Fat and Happy” syndrome has taken effect. Deal with it.

{4.} Compromise on the DVR and make Hulu your best friend. You make room for Top Gear and Mythbusters. He makes room for Glee and So You Think You Can Dance.

{5.} Burgers and pizza are not healthy diet options. He doesn’t know this. Break it to him slowly.

{6.} A date night does not consist of picking up Chick-fil-a and watching him play video games at home.

{7.} A night in means he plays video games while you read on the couch. Don’t forget the snacks.

{8.} Bathroom etiquette consists of spraying Fabreeze. Do this regularly. Respect the Febreeze.

{9.} Elastic waistbands become the fashion norm.

{10.} Selective hearing is the excuse for nearly everything.

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