Letters to Apollo

Fridays Letters!

I’m dedicating this post to only one thing. Well, one thing that’s a feline – a feline that is notoriously good at bugging the bejeesus out of me. Without further ado, my letters to Apollo.

Dear Apollo,

Must you announce yourself every time you enter a room? You are not King of England or King of anything really and yet you insist on making your presence known even at midnight when I’m nearing my glorious deep sleep.

Speaking of sleeping. I’ll continue to wake you up when you’re curled up on the couch or under the desk because you deprive me of my own sleep. If haters gonna hate, join em.

Let’s have a discussion on food. Oh food. I’m aware it’s quite amazing; however I would think that keeping it in your bowl would be more beneficial to you. As you swallow your food without chewing, you end up spitting food in every direction. Why do I continue to step on your hard food all the way on the other side of the kitchen?

Oh floors! You should be writing apologetic letters to the carpet and floor, Apollo. You take them for granted as you fling litter on them as well as excrement, food and spit up.

Please heed my advice when I tell you your life and ours would be a lot better off if you shook the litter pebbles off your feet before you exited the litter box. Weekly floor cleaning can get quite old and you are the only culprit.

I know what you’re doing.

You’re plotting to kill us. I found this by the windowsill the other day.

1. How did you get a Pinterest account?

2. You aren’t fooling anyone.

You’ve got the “burying bodies” part down pat. Staring contests? More like staring death traps. Kneading and lightening speed? We should call you Superman in the kitchen (ya know? kneading bread. get it?).

Don’t think we’re not on to you.

Just watch your back, Apollo. We’ve got connections to the vets office. FYI.

Linking up today. Do it with me?

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